discontent

Lately I have found myself wishing for the future. Wishing for a day of adventure, a day out of the norm. A day where I feel refreshed and excited and inspired. I suspect most high school seniors feel this way. I'm approaching a cross roads in my life and in some ways I wish it were miles down the road but in others, it can't come soon enough.

 I find myself savoring and mourning the small things in my life and wishing away the bigger aspects. I'm holding tight to the car rides with the windows down and the music up. The late night talks with my precious mama. Talking sports with my brother, kissing my dogs and stroking their soft ears. Making smoothies and eating late night ice cream. Feeling the breath of my horse on my neck and feeling like I could fly when I ride him. I'm also holding onto people. I have a hard time opening up but the people who see the real me are people whom I love and treasure dearly. Three very special people in my life will not be right across town in just a few months. My family will be miles away.

These changes scare me but when I look at the road ahead, I feel excitement and adventure, but today I feel restless and discontent. I need to breathe... wishing for the future only destroys the present.